


Catch Me as I Fall

by Xyriath



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Blood and Injury, Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xyriath/pseuds/Xyriath
Summary: Kain Fuery would never have said no to spending time alone with Jean Havoc.  So why did the universe have to throw it to him in the form of trapping them under a collapsing building?





	Catch Me as I Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psyraah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyraah/gifts).



> This is a very very belated birthday present for one of my dearest friends and internet wife, Psyraah. It has your favorite things!!! Enjoy!!!
> 
> —
> 
> _[Check out my tumblr for more info if you want to help support me!](http://xyriath.tumblr.com/)_

As the last of the dirt sprinkled onto Kain Fuery’s face, he could think of nothing else beyond how lucky he was to be alive right now.

Still, he stayed frozen for several more moments, not even daring to breathe, as the rumbling of the building—well, former building—slowly creaked to a stop.

And then, silence.

Kain finally exhaled, long and slow, his terror leaving with his breath.  The anxiety stayed behind, of course, but now that he knew he wasn’t going to die immediately, his muscles sagged with relief.

He didn’t notice that he had sunk to the ground until he felt remnants of the rubble from the collapse digging into knees. He clutched at the ground with his hands, grateful for the solid dirt underneath him after the tenuous wooden floor of moments ago.  Somewhere in the back of his head he knew that there was no way out, that he was trapped until a rescue was dispatched, but right now, he could enjoy just being _alive._

“Lemme tell you,” slurred a voice from several feet away in the dark, Eastern Amestrian accent emphasized with the slow wording, “that Fullmetal sure knows how to make a mess.”

“Jean!” Kain gasped, not even caring that he had breached formality and used Jean’s first name rather than last.  Though Jean had tackled him and shoved him into a corner when the building began to collapse—likely saving his life—the two had been wrenched apart in the ensuing chaos, and Kain had thought him lost in the rubble.

He peered around, forgetting that he couldn't really see in the dark, and his glasses had vanished anyway.  Still, he shook off the concern, instead crawling over towards the direction of the voice.

"Are you okay?  Oh my god, I thought you had—but no, you're here.  Okay.  Good."  He exhaled, closing his eyes, then lifted his hand to run his fingers through his hair.  "Wow.  Okay, so, we're both still alive."

"Yeah—c'mon, you should know better by now.  You really think the universe is gonna get rid of us that easily?"

Kain let out a shaky laugh, more desperation than humor, and reached out in the direction of Jean's voice.  His hand hit wall, and he frowned, confused.  Were they on opposite sides of—

" _Nnngh!_ " came a yelp from right below Kain as his boot connected with something solid.

Kain gasped and dropped to the ground, terrified that he had actually hurt Jean.  "Oh my god, are you okay?!  I didn't mean to—"

"N-no, no.  You're fine, kid—Kain."  Jean's laugh sounded a little shaky, but it still sent a curl of warmth through Kain's chest.  It really wasn't fair at all, that a person could be so tall and handsome and funny _and_ have a great laugh, all at the same time.  Someone clearly had it out for him.  At least right now he only had to deal with the laugh, and probably the humor.

"Good," Kain breathed, shifting to sit crosslegged, then scooting over just a little so his knee was touching Jean's.  Jean didn't say anything, so Kain figured his dignity was probably mostly intact.  Being trapped in the dark was hard enough; he at least wanted some human contact while he was here.  "I'm glad you're okay.  I..."  He swallowed, hard, glad that the darkness hid his flush.  "Thank you.  For saving my life."

He heard a pleased hum from beside him, then jumped a little as something bumped against his head.  But it was only a hand, the movements a little loose and floppy, but big enough to leave Kain feeling even safer as Jean ruffled his hair.

"'Course I did.  Don't even worry about it.  And don't worry about bein' trapped down here, either.  The chief knows where we went, and he'll be putting together a group to get us out.  Can't imagine we'll be stuck here for more than a couple of hours."

Oh.   _Hours._  Kain had been hoping for something more like... a half an hour.  Maybe fifteen minutes.  Even fewer would have been nice.

He must have made some sort of noise, as a tired chuckle sounded from next to him.  "Hey, seriously, it's gonna be okay.  We used to get earthquakes a bunch back home—well, they still do, I guess—and I got trapped in a barn once.  After it collapsed.  It was... really damn scary.  I had to be like... I dunno, maybe ten're... nine, maybe.  My dad rescued me..."

Kain's faint smile faded at the tone in Jean's voice, and he swallowed.  Although Jean sounded like he might be falling asleep, Kain knew better.  He'd heard people sound like this after they had taken a wound on the battlefield, and more often than not, they didn’t wake up, ever again.

"J-jean?" he stammered, reaching out to place a hand on Jean’s knee.

It stayed still for a few moments, then shifted slightly.  "Huh?  What?"

"Are you all right?" Kain asked, trying to keep his voice from straining, trying to keep from panicking.  There could be plenty of reasons for this.  Jean had probably just had a long day.

"Nnn?  Oh, yeah.  'M fine."

Kain began to relax, telling himself that _see?  Not everything was always terrible._  These mental affirmations, however, were interrupted by the tiniest shift from Jean, and then a long, pained groan.  His heart sank to his toes.

"You're not!" he cried, shoving himself forward, shaky but careful not to land on Jean.  He was still talking, which was good, but Kain might need to keep him awake.  "Did you hit your head?"

"What?  No, nothin' like... I mean, little bump, but... nah, I told you, I'm okay."

"You're _lying,_ " Kain declared, voice fierce, and the silence that followed had a distinct air of surprise.  Kain didn't often bring out his insistent side, but it was nice to know that when he did, people knew he was serious.

His hand touched Jean's thigh, then patted up—Kain tried very hard not to think of alternative ways this could have happened.  This was a completely professional medical examination between coworkers.  His hand reached Jean's side, then stomach, and Kain dared go as low as his abdomen before moving back up.

"K-kain, c'mon, don't—"

When Kain touched Jean’s other side, his fingers met something very, very wet.  With a gasp, he yanked his hand away, and as it moved back closer to his face, he smelled the tell-tale stench of copper.

"Oh my _god,_ Jean!" he yelped, voice strangled, and quickly scrambled to yank his jacket off of his shoulders.  Jean was hurt, and hurt _badly,_ it felt like, and it had all because Kain had needed saving.  Kain always ended up this way: absolutely useless.

"Told you, it's all good.  I mean, I am, y'know?"

"No!  No, I don't!"  Kain's voice had reached shrill levels, with more than a note of hysteria within.  He reached out with trembling hands in the direction of where he thought the blood might be, and they touched warm, damp cloth yet again.  This time, he steeled himself and swallowed, keeping his hand there.

Jean let out another groan of pain as Kain slowly felt his way upwards, trying to find the source of the wound.  "This would be much easier if you would tell me where you... tell me... oh.  Oh, Jean."

His voice quickly shrank from shrill to downright terrified, barely above a whisper, as right in the middle of Jean's wet uniform, he felt something cold, hard, and metal.

"Did it go in from the back?" he barely managed, voice now shaking along with his fingers as they confirmed what he already knew: whatever piece of metal this was had absolutely gutted Jean.

"Yeah," Jean grunted, then groaned.  "Goddamn rebar.  Should've... I dunno what I should've done.  Pro'lly not'ta gotten stabbed..."

“Sta… _stabbed!_ ” Kain choked out, gripping his jacket and pressing it up against the wound with his left hand.  “Oh my god, Jean, please, you’re… you’re going to be all right…”  Kain knew that he wasn’t being remotely convincing, but right now, he didn’t care.  “Just… just don’t move.”

Jean snorted.  “Oh, I know _that._ ”  Kain still couldn’t see, but the soft sigh and then tiny thump left him with the mental image of Jean tilting his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.  “Don’t worry, ain’t gonna happen.”

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, and Kain immediately began to second-guess himself.  Maybe leaving the rebar in had been a bad decision.  Maybe Jean should pull off and lie down, where Kain could put better pressure on the wound.  Maybe—

“Are you sure?” he blurted, tightening his grip on the uniform, hoping that this was staunching some of the bleeding.  “I can help you, if…”

“Nah, nah,” Jean slurred, sounding weary.  “If we didn’t have anyone comin’ for us, might be a worry, but right now, we should stay put, and this is at least keepin’ some of my organs inside my body.”  A tense, awkward pause, and Jean added, “I can wiggle my toes, though.  I keep checking to make sure.”

Kain let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob, hunching his shoulders.  A hand reached up to pat his forearm, frighteningly weak.

“Is there _anything_ I can do?” Kain gasped, the tears welling up and streaming down his cheeks.  If Jean died here, while Kain stood by uselessly, he would… Kain would never…

“Could kiss me once before I die,” Jean slurred, sounding for all the world like he was asking to borrow a pen.

Kain froze.

A kiss.  Jean Havoc had asked him, _Kain Fuery_ , awkward and shy and nerdy member of the team, for a kiss.

“Have… have you never been kissed before?” he finally managed, voice unsteady and hitching.

“What?  No, no, ‘course I have, but… y’know.  They weren’t… you.  Always wanted to kiss you.”  Jean hummed, as if speaking to himself and completely forgetting his audience, and Kain could only sit and stare into darkness, completely speechless.

Jean just didn’t want a kiss.  He wanted a kiss from Kain.  A _kiss from Kain._  The words repeated over and over in Kain’s head as he remembered every time he had thought about doing just that—of Jean cornering him in a private space and pressing his lips gently against Kain’s as Kain tried not to swoon, but really, how could he do otherwise; so as his knees went weak, Jean’s big, strong arms reached out to catch him—

The slightest exhale caught his attention, and Kain snapped immediately back to the present, every nerve in his body on “panic!” alert.  After a moment of disorientation, he realized that he had gone quiet and daydreamed for at least a few whole minutes, and that Jean hadn’t said anything at all.

“S-sorry, I—Jean?”  Kain shook himself slightly, hoping that he hadn’t upset him.  Could he reach Jean’s lips from here?  He would need to use his hands to find Jean’s face, at least…  “I didn’t mean to go quiet, I just…”

Even after Kain trailed off, there was no response, and panic began to trickle in again.  Whatever that meant, it couldn’t be good.

“ _Jean?_ ” he insisted, voice growing in pitch.  “Did I upset you?  I’m sorry, I was just surprised.”  His eyes strained at the dark in front of him, but despite his efforts, nothing resolved.  “P-please, even if you’re mad, please don’t go quiet; please tell me you heard me!”

And still, nothing.

“ _Jean!_ ” Kain cried, right hand scrambling for Jean’s chest, his previous hesitance gone as he found Jean’s chin, then face.  A quick exploration revealed that Jean had gone limp, his eyes closed.

“No!   _No!_ ”  Kain gripped Jean’s chin, terror coursing through him.  Tears stung at the back of his throat, finding their way to his eyes and spilling out past ruined glasses over filthy cheeks.  “No, you’re _not_ allowed to die on me, you asshole!  Not after saying something like that!”  He shook Jean’s face, then patted at his cheeks, so hard that they bordered on slaps—and received no response.

With another frantic movement, he pulled his hand back from Jean’s face and found his way back to the site of the injury, working his fingers underneath his own jacket to feel…

Blood flow.  Yes.  It was still bleeding, so Jean was still alive.

With a hysterical laugh, Kain realized that of all the methods he could have chosen to check for life, this had to be the least practical.  To reassure himself once more, he reached out again, fingers now slippery with blood, until he found Jean’s wrist.  The pulse, while weak and unsteady, still thumped under the skin.

“Oh, thank god,” Kain whispered, lacing his fingers together with Jean’s and squeezing, focusing on nothing else beyond the slight _thump-thump_ that reverberated through both of them.

He didn’t know how long it had been—it felt like hours, but it couldn’t realistically have been, though the arm holding up the jacket had begun to ache—when fingers tightened around his.  His head jerked up, eyes wide.

“Jean?”

A long, low groan of pain answered him, and Kain let out another sob.  He squeezed Jean’s hand in return.

“I go out?” Jean slurred, sounding displeased at the thought.  “Fuckin’… hope they get here soon.  Dunno if I’ll come back if it happens again.”

“Don’t… don’t say that!” Kain choked out, inhaling raggedly, and he heard a “Nnn?” of confusion.  The hand slipped out of his, and Kain wondered what he had done until it reached out to touch Kain’s face.

“You’re cryin’?  Shit, Kain, ‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to… Yeah, like you said, it’ll be fine.  Just… just hurts like a bitch right now, y’know?  I didn’t mean come back, like, die, ‘course, just that how unfair’s it gonna be if I waste my time alone with you?”

Kain laughed again despite himself, the note of hysteria stronger.  “You and your _lines_ , Jean Havoc.  You think they’ll just work on me like that?”  They had, already, a long time ago, but Kain certainly wasn’t going to admit that.  “I’m respectable, you know.  Or, well, you probably don’t, because you’ve never done anything respectable in your life.”  Emboldened by the soft chuckle from Jean’s direction, Kain continued.  “If we get out of here, you can ask me out on a date like a _normal_ person, instead of trying to pretend you’re dying to get a kiss!”

“Guilty as charged,” Jean chuckled, and Kain’s heart clenched at the words.  Maybe Jean _had_ just been exaggerating, which, while rude, would be preferable to—

But a sharp gasp and another pained groan told Kain that Jean could only be understating the effect that the wound had on him.

“So don’t leave me alone.”  Kain tried for lighthearted, but only managed high-pitched and shaky.  “Tell me about your family.  The store.  Or your sister; she’s trying for the State Alchemist’s exam, soon, isn’t she?”

“What, Grace?  Oh, yeah… y’see, she's been kickin’ up a storm since they finally started admittin’ women…”

Kain listened intently through rambling words that only made sense about half of the time, tangents that had no relevance to what Jean had previously said, coaxing him back into speaking each time he trailed off.  His arms burned, but he held on.

Until, finally, Jean didn’t respond.

Kain tried several more times, each more frantic than the last—shaking him, calling his name, slapping his cheeks, even pinching him—but none of them elicited a response.  Though Jean’s pulse hadn’t yet faded, Kain got nothing.

He was wailing before he even realized—a terrible, heartbroken keening that rang through the ruined walls and ended in a jagged sob.  
  
As the last echoes of his cry faded, Kain's ears picked up something else.

“ _There!  I heard something!_ ”

For the briefest of moments, Kain couldn’t move, only stare upwards in shock.  He wondered if he was hallucinating.  If he was going to die alongside Jean.

“Down here!” he yelped, voice louder than he could have ever imagined.  “We’re here!  Whoever’s up there, hurry!  We’re hurt!   _Please!_ ”

The muffled noises grew louder, and it wasn’t five minutes before a rumbling sounded around them.  Then a bright flash of blue lightning sizzled out, and the agonizing light from above pierced into their little cavern and Kain’s eyes, leaving him cringing.

“Fuery?” came the low voice of Roy Mustang, urgent and serious.  “Thank god, and—oh, god, _Havoc!_ ”

“Please,” Kain whimpered, sniffling pathetically, even as he heard familiar voices—Mustang, Hawkeye, even Fullmetal—around him.  “Please, get him out first; he’s been hurt.”

And as Kain managed to work his eyes open again he saw emergency workers begin to swarm into the hole around them, kneeling next to Jean, a couple detaching to worriedly inspect Kain.

And Jean’s pulse continued to beat, faint but _there_ , under Kain’s hand.

—

“I’m glad you’re here.  He’s been asking about you.”

Kain jumped just a little, knowing he’d been caught staring at a hospital door without knocking, then turned to see Rebecca Catalina lounging against the opposite wall of the hallway.  The knowing smile on her face meant that whatever lay inside the door was probably good news in terms of Jean’s health, but maybe not-so-good news in terms of what might be waiting for _Kain_.

“Has he?” Kain squeaked, mind suddenly whirling with terrible possibilities: Jean apologizing for what he had said in his delirious state, promising that it would never happen again, laughing charmingly, “ _God, can you imagine actually meaning that?_ ” while Kain slowly died on the inside.

“Yeah.  You should go in.”

Kain swallowed, turning back to eye the door suspiciously.  “I’m not so sure…”

But it opened anyway, right then, a nurse nearly tripping over Kain and shooting him a glare as she sidestepped him.  Before the door could close, a hand in the center of his back— _damn Rebecca Catalina_ —landed and shoved, sending Kain stumbling into the hospital room.

He had been in one of these before.  Had visited Jean in one of these before.  Unlike last time, Jean’s toes wiggled gleefully under the blankets.

But the way his face brightened up when he saw Kain step in was just the same.

“Hey,” he said, voice a little hoarse and definitely breathless.

“Hey,” Kain replied, even shyer than usual.

The silence stretched between the two of them as the door closed behind them, leaving them alone.  Their eyes slid away from each other, and Kain didn’t even know how to begin.

“I’m sorry.”

Kain’s head jerked up, eyes wide.  He was about to protest that Jean didn’t have anything to apologize for when Jean continued.

“I’m sorry for scaring you like that.  And… and if I sounded… well.  I mean, I sorta remember what I said.”

Kain waited breathlessly for him to continue.

“I… I don’t remember much more, but I do remember you going real quiet, and I wanted to say that I’m real sorry if I made you uncomfortable.  I shouldn’t’ve put you on the spot like that, and I promise, I won’t let my…”  Jean cleared his throat.  “…my feelings get in the way of our working relationship.  Or friendship.”

Feelings.   _Feelings._  He had said _feelings_ , and that could mean—that _definitely_ meant—

“So you do still want to kiss me?”

The words all came out in a rush, and Jean glanced up, looking alarmed.  “I… I mean, look, I don’t wanna put any pressure on you, I promise—”

Kain swallowed, then stepped forward, up beside the bed.  After a moment of hesitation, he reached out to take Jean’s wrist.

As Jean stared down at it, naked surprise on his face, Kain gathered his courage and spoke.

“So you don’t remember what _I_ said, if we got out of there?”

Jean raised his eyes back to Kain, and the blooming hope there left Kain giddy.

“I… I said that when we did, you could take me on a proper date.  So I expect it, when you’re better.”

Jean’s face split into a grin at the words, and he reached out to take Kain’s arm as well, tugging him closer.  His expression was as joyous as Kain’s had to be, with the way his face ached from the smiling.

“Yeah.  Yeah, I can do that.”  He squeezed Kain’s wrist, then hesitated, licking his lips and looking adorably nervous.  It was an unusual expression to see on Jean’s face, but it gave Kain an odd sensation of glee that he didn’t think he’d ever experienced.  “But, uh…”

“But?” Kain breathed, drawn in by the charming sight, the high from having just been asked out by—or asking out?  Either way, they were _going_ out—Jean Havoc.

Jean’s face melted into a smirk, though now that he had seen it, Kain could spot a little bit of the nervousness there as Jean quirked an eyebrow.  “How about that kiss?”

“You’re impossible,” Kain murmured—but really, how could he turn that down?

Their movements were slow, but Kain didn’t resist.

And as he bent down, gentle fingers on Jean’s cheek, Jean’s hand on the back of his head, pulling them together, he thought this could be the start of something wonderful.

Their lips met, slotting together in a soft kiss filled with years worth of unspoken yearning and affection.

And when Jean hummed against Kain’s mouth, his scent and taste the only things in Kain’s world—when Kain hummed back—he knew that he’d been right.


End file.
